Thursday, May 1, 2008

Where do I go...

well as the title reads...i ask myself,where do I go from here. Well as usual its been a while since I wrote and I always come back with something. When I started writing this blog it was a time of sadness and extreme pain for me, as one of my Best friend Tony said...to not love is pain but to love with no return is the greatest sadness of all. To me this blog was a baby, a seed of hope to a new life...but that didnt go so well, i didnt honour my promise...to leave and let lose.I went back to what I wanted so much to leave. My life hasn't been easy, its been hard ive gone to the bottom without being able to control the escalator that took me there. Sometimes I feel I am the king of sorrow...sometimes the queen of joy. sometimes I want to love sometimes i cringe at the word love...the uncertainty of life doesnt help the situation,I have learn t a lot through this whole lifetime of being me...but the best I know about me is the ability to really make it in life.

To spill the beans, I am baptizing my new baby tomorrow and setting it off. I'm taking a a leap towards my future. Its scary as it comes with another side of me that I wanted to keep forever dead. Well I started smoking again and I know when that triggers it means im scared. Well I am, the whole lot of me. I'm scared of the future what it holds for me...I mean how many break up will I see, how many people who mean the world to me will I lose, how many tears will I cry, how many good times or bad times will I or not see....

1 comment:

daddy diablo said...

First here...cool.
Just stumbled across your blog...u haven't been here for some time, but can u keep writing?? I like!
(on that note,let me check my own...haven't been there either).