Nil by Mouth....

First I apologize to you my dear blog for being away...I haven't updated you for a long time, to say the truth i haven't found the inspiration to. Things have happened too first like lightening and the truth of the matter its been a dream every day has been like on auto pilot i mean alot has happened since i was last there.

Well its 11,44pm Valentines eve and im just from having a drink with a special person in my life...Tony,let me share Tony. We were in campus with him, and weve come a long way back. I have always admired his sense of organization and the quality of being principled...i mean Tony would always be the one sensible person in a disco pub at 2 am in the morning!!! Today i dedicate my blog to Tony and his late mother. You'll notice the title of the blog, well today Tony shared with me his story about his mum and her problem with Colon cancer, how she was feeding through a tube and thus the sign at her bed...nil by mouth.

I felt like i needed to meet this woman to whom Tony described with so much conviction and pride...i am very particular with words that people say, and when they talk to me i always try to look at their eyes and feel their mood or feelings at that time...when i looked at Tony today...he was full of love for a Mother who lived her life to the sacrifice of her children. I cried most of the time...i kept on thinking the other patrons of the pub thought that maybe me and Tony were a couple and he was dumping me because of the way I was crying most of the time :-) but the reason why i cried is i couldn't imagine someone being so strong, i could not imagine a life so sad...but Tony consoled me (ironically) and told me his mother would not have passed on any way better. This strong woman who i have never met...prepared her children whom she loved greatly in a way she only and her maker could understand, and brought them together...may her soul rest in peace.

I felt that I had neglected my friends...Tony, Suzzy, Debby, Njoki and Kajane...i was too caught up in a misery that is not worth it to not take time to listen to my friend Tony. We as human beings see that our problems would not be worser than the neighbor's...but we are wrong. I was mourning a lost 'love' while one of the best people in my life were mourning a mother and confidant!!! I feel like i betrayed him, i told him that, I could not believe he went through all that without me being in his life as a friend he could lean on...i was too busy concentrating on my own problems concerning people who didn't care for me to care for him. I apologize my dear friend...never again. To Tony's mum.... REST IN PEACE, YE OF GREAT HEARTS!!!

I learnt alot today....that we can never take life for granted, lets all prepare for the coming days with less bitterness and more hapiness...you just may never know!